How to Stay Positive and Overcome Difficult Times

 Overcoming the Struggle

In The Struggle

Often times in our day to day lives there are moments when we feel frustrated, hurt, stressed and down. Sometimes we know exactly why we are feeling this way or it is a product of a certain situation or experience. Yet, there are times when we feel these ways for reasons unknown to us.  As humans, our experience in this lifetime is a series of periods where we either feel we are on a high and all is going well or we are in a downturn where it seems nothing is going right…..ever.  These down times are the moments when we are in the struggle, the sadness, the difficult situations that it can be extremely hard to pull out of.  As a negative situation or time in our life drags on for an extensive period of time, it gets harder and harder to see a way out or that light at the end of the tunnel. This is from my own personal journey in a time in life when everything just seemed to get worse no matter what I did to try and fix it.  Although some things were flourishing in certain areas of my life, a major part of it was a huge struggle every single day.  I ate my feelings.  Food was all that felt good some days.  The taste of food was my friend, or so I thought…. I closed myself off to family and friends in many ways, not sharing with them how much emotional pain I was in.  I would put on a happy smile and try and be positive around everyone.  Some saw through my mask of pain and knew something was not quite right while others saw my life as perfect and never knew how sad I was so much of the time.  I share this because it’s important to know that we ALL have struggles.  Even when you perceive someones life as being wonderful and amazing.  They have struggles too.  Every single one of us.

Thoughtful process

Learning to stay positive

Staying Positive

When I had gone down my difficult path, there were so many days I searched and searched for a way to get out of all of the pain and sadness.  It was hard to be positive when I felt like there was not much to be positive about.  What I knew to be true was that there was always hope, even when it seemed as if all was lost.  I knew people had overcome even more difficult things than I was dealing with.  I knew it could be done even though I was just not sure how and I knew I loved myself enough that I could find a way. The top things that were helpful to me to stay positive were:

  • Someone to talk to.  Even if this is one single person, it is a must!! You need to be able to let out your feelings and frustrations.  You need to feel safe in sharing with this person and let them know what is going on in your life.
  • Your internal dialogue is extremely important!  Even if at first you do not believe it, talk to yourself in kind words.  Change the conversations you  have with yourself all day long.  Our minds never stop thinking and working and the what and how we speak to ourselves can literally change your life.  Try going one day being conscious of what you are saying to yourself and keep it positive.  You will truly see how negative we are in our own minds and how much negativity we feed to ourselves daily.
  • Choose one positive thing you can do each day.  Choose something that you can easily do that will be of positivity to you.  Maybe it’s feed yourself at least one healthy meal a day (even if the rest are crappy and unhealthy), exercise 3-5 times a week (even if it’s only 30 minutes a day, it’s enough! I promise!!), Leave yourself sticky notes with a kind message on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator.  Just invite the positivity in.  Start small.  Do not overwhelm your life by making yourself some big promises or aspirations.  Keep it simple and build upon that.
  • Write it down.  Keep a journal or even a calendar.  Write down what changes you want to see in your life.  Make lists of the positive and negative things in particular situations that you are not sure what to do about.  Seeing it visually and creating space to make decisions about it is very helpful.  Look at what you have written once a week and see if anything has changed.  Make new adjustments and decisions for the next week noting what you can do to create a better outcome.
  • Remember to have fun!  Even when we are going through difficulties there are always ways and times to have fun.  Sprinkled in with all the sad there is always a little happy.  Find it, and when it’s there make sure you enjoy every second.  It might be in something funny someone says, a comedy tv show, a night out with friends, a cute picture on Instagram or whatever else makes you smile.  Feel blessed in that moment, laugh, let the joy radiate through you.  These times can feel few and far between when you are down, but it’s important to feel these happy experiences as a whole. It reminds us that there is so much joy to participate in and available to us.  We have it around us all the time we just have to choose to participate in it and make our life adjustment accordingly.Live Life
  • Be consistent!!!! This is the absolute number one piece of advice that I have.  If you are all over the place doing a million different things all the time your life will feel like chaos.  Implementing all of the above advice does not work unless you are consistent.  Take each and every day and try and do at least one of the things that are helpful to you.  It’s not the wave of a magic wand and voila, your life is fixed.  It is a process.  A process that takes time.  Do Not Give Up!  Every single day with consistency you are capable of making beautiful and positive changes in your life.  It’s the day to day choices that are the hugest factor in what and how our lives evolve.  Be aware each morning you wake up that today is a chance to take another step forward, even if it is a very small, there is movement and progression.
  • Surround yourself with good, kind, positive people.  It’s the saying “you are the company you keep.”  If your life is full of toxic people and drama, then that is what your reality will be.  Eliminating people or environments that trigger negative behaviors, choices, and circumstances truly will create a new life and existence for you.  Amazingly, even one person can completely change the energy of a room or experience.  Choose wisely.  Your friendships and relationships are chosen by you and nurtured by you.  Be sure those you are allowing into that precious space are those that are worthy, and add value to your life.  Make sure these relationships bring joy, peace, calm and teach you to be better.  If they bring out the worst in you it is best to recognize that and then remove the toxic relationship completely from your life in the best way possible.  This is not always easy but very crucial.
  • Prayer. Prayer is a comfort.  It doesn’t matter of what religious faith or spirituality you are based in,  embrace prayer.  This is such a personal thing, I know, but it truly is an immense blessing.  There may be times you feel as if this is meaningless or you do not have belief in this process, but do not lose hope. Pray even if you struggle with the basis of this. Pray to whomever or whatever you have your belief system in.  Give gratitude for the good in your prayer and ask for strength, wisdom and the knowledge to understand.  I personally ask for the insight to see what lesson I have not yet learned from this situation. This practice is a light in your soul. Keep the light on.
  • Do not continue to make all negative choices for yourself and expect a positive result.  Be accountable for what your choices are and your role in it.  I know this doesn’t seem like it would help with positivity but you are seeing the truths in what your part is in where you are at in life.  The truth shall set you free sort of thing.  Even when people have inflicted negative words or situations upon us, the matter of fact of it all is that we allowed them to do this because of something inside of us that told us this was ok.  When we see that the negative decisions and feelings we have chosen to hold on to are hurting us, we are then in an awareness to see that we must let go of these to invite the positivity in. Thus, more positivity. Yay!!Living in the lightPeace

Overcome

One of my favorite sayings is “Keep on, keeping on.” I know that no matter what, I just have to keep moving forward.  I think a big part of this is the letting go of the past. Not blaming, holding anger, or continuously looking to past situations and reliving them over and over is imperative. We can only control what is happening now, today. If we use our wisdom and knowledge to accept that what’s done is done and learn the important lessons the past has taught us, then it creates space for more positive things in our present.  That will always be part of the journey of life.  Anything is possible and attainable.  This is the beauty of this life.  Is it hard work? Yes, but anything worth it always is.  We have to do the internal work (and it is very difficult work sometimes) to experience the external rewards and gratification we are searching for.  The common thread is we all just want to be happy, joyful and fulfilled. We CAN get out of the dark with work and diligence.  When we fall again, we must get back up. Those set backs are frustrating but that is when we have to relight the fire within, give ourselves that positive internal pep talk, and apply what we know, what we’ve learned.  The AMAZING thing is, is that when you have been putting in the work, been consistent, made that effort every day to do better and be better you start to see one day that you are beginning to heal.  Things have shifted within you and you are starting to feel whole again.  You also recognize that you are still not all the way out of the woods but you are making progress.  Parts of you are happier that once were not.  You view things, situations, people differently in a way.  Things have changed, and for the better. These small little moments give you hope and this hope perpetuates your journey.  As each small step, each renewed breath, and every little glimpse of happiness envelopes your being, you become more aware of the joy that your life is and can be.  You overcome.  You are anew.

I hope that this post was helpful to anyone going though difficulties in their life or even if you are in a great space a reminder to continuously work at oneself to stay in a positive space.  The constant nurturing and awareness of our beings is so crucial to our continued pursuit of joy in our journey.  I wish you all immense joy, peace, and harmony in your lives.  I am again so grateful for all of you and your support and kindness in my blog.  Please feel free to reach out to me at saschaovard@gmail.com with any comments or questions.  I love hearing from you all!

Calm

Much Love.

xo, Sascha

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41 Comments

  1. Siena
    November 24, 2015 / 8:28 am

    I love this! You are such a good writer and everything you said seemed to have spoke to everything I’ve been feeling.Thank you!

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 25, 2015 / 5:48 am

      Thank you! Happy to have touched on something that could help you in your life! Take care and good luck.
      Xo

  2. November 24, 2015 / 9:47 am

    Wooow! Amazing post 🙂 Thanks for the great tips!

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 25, 2015 / 5:49 am

      Thanks so much!! I appreciate your kindness! Glad you’re liking the blog.
      Xo

  3. Chloe
    November 24, 2015 / 1:47 pm

    Thank you Sasha for this amazing post. You really spoke to me. Your words really helped me, thank you 🙂

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:56 am

      Chloe, So happy that my words spoke to you. We all need a little help along the way and I am so grateful to have shared. Stay strong and take care. Xo

  4. November 24, 2015 / 3:27 pm

    Beautiful post! i loved the images and the tips are wonderful. Very important to remember in tough times. I particularly loved what you said about being kind to yourself. Speak with yourself with kind words, be patient, treat yourself the way you treat the person you love the most in your life.

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:55 am

      So glad you loved this post! Thank you for your sweet comment and I wish you the best! Xo

  5. Michelle
    November 24, 2015 / 4:59 pm

    Prayer makes a remarkable difference in my life. I had gotten out of the practice of a formal morning prayer time, but made it part of Lent this year. Wow. I had forgotten how much peace, joy and happiness it brings me! All the other things you mentioned in your article are spot on. Exercise (specifically dance) makes me a happy women. Eating healthier has made a remarkable difference in how I feel as well. I’ve lost 30 lbs since June, while still enjoying the food I love. Just a lot less of it. 🙂 Thanks for your motivation. Always nice to be reminded that “we can do it”!! 🙂

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:54 am

      That is so amazing! So happy for you that you are getting healthy, feeling happy, and taking care of yourself. Prayer will get you through! Stay strong and positive. Lots of love. Xo

  6. November 25, 2015 / 6:54 am

    I love this! You have a wonderful outlook on life that inspires me to be a better person each day and to “keep on keeping on” have a great Thanksgiving and feel free to check out my blog keepitsimple-21.com

    xo- Maggie

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:47 am

      Thanks so much! Hope your holidays are wonderful and I’ll check out your blog too! Xo

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:49 am

      Thank you, Kate! So kind of you!

  7. Arianna
    November 27, 2015 / 4:08 am

    Thank you for sharing such personal and helpful information with us. Wishing you and your family a blessed holiday. 🙂

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:53 am

      Thanks! Hope your holidays are beautiful and peaceful. I appreciate your kindness. Xo

  8. November 29, 2015 / 9:35 am

    I just stumbled upon your blog and I absolutely love it! The aesthetics and content are wonderful, and I really love your attitude and how you live a positive lifestyle because that is something I strive for everyday. This post actually reminded me of one that I wrote a few months ago and I thought you might like hearing about my experiences! https://evarsipic.wordpress.com/2015/08/31/have-vs-get/

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:52 am

      Eva,
      Thank you for all of the amazing compliments about my blog. I love your positivity as well and I will definitely check out your post. Thank you again. Xo

  9. November 29, 2015 / 10:44 am

    I came from Avery channel.you Avery and aspyn are so a like its amazing I would love to have a mum like you p.s your beautiful

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:46 am

      Thank you Olivia, that is so sweet! I appreciate your kindness and wish you the best. Xo

  10. Mackenzie
    November 29, 2015 / 6:02 pm

    So inspirational. Love all the tips. Truly amazing writer.

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:51 am

      Thanks Mackenzie!! You are very kind.

  11. Heba
    November 29, 2015 / 9:52 pm

    I watch Aspyn’s videos and that is where I know you from..
    I came across your blog today and read this post and it brought so much comfort to me.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      November 30, 2015 / 12:45 am

      You are so welcome! Thank you for reading my blog and I truly hope that you have love and positivity in you life. Stay strong and keep the light within! You can get through anything, you just have to believe in yourself. Good luck in the future. Xo

  12. Katie
    November 30, 2015 / 6:10 am

    This is very inspirational 🙂 love your pictures! Also your hair is very pretty! How do you keep it so healthy?

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 1, 2015 / 2:01 am

      Thank you! Eating as healthy as I can, and taking good care of my hair helps to keep it healthy! I hope to do some posts soon on hair care. Thanks again. Xo

  13. November 30, 2015 / 7:12 am

    This is such an inspiring post! You are so beautiful inside and out. I love reading your blog whenever I am in need of a pick-me-up, and your positivity radiates through the computer screen. You are a fantastic writer and person. Happy holidays 🙂

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 1, 2015 / 2:04 am

      Thanks for all of the compliments! I am so happy that you are taking positivity from my blog, it means SO much!! I am so grateful for all of the love and support. Take care. Xo

  14. Renee
    November 30, 2015 / 7:57 am

    Wow! Such a beautiful post, so beautifully articulated!I am so thankful I found this, I came across it as almost as if it was meant to be. This really helped me evaluate hard times in my own life currently. Do you believe things happen for a reason?

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 1, 2015 / 2:08 am

      I am so grateful that you found comfort in this post! I do truly believe everything happens for a reason. It takes time, in many circumstances, to see the big picture of the lessons that we learn in life. Stay strong and keep pushing through. It is one moment at a time and know that you are definitely not alone!! It takes time and a thoughtful process to heal and move forward. Good luck and God bless. Xo

  15. Addison
    November 30, 2015 / 2:58 pm

    Hi, Sascha. I first want to say that your children are so lucky to have such an amazing mom who is so full of wisdom and love. Sometimes it feels like everyone around me has the perfect situation or life, but this blog post was so comforting to read today and realize I’m not alone in my struggles. I’ve been feeling like no matter what I do for myself or for others, nothing seems to go right and it has started to take a toll on me. I think your tips will help me take the next step to finding my inner peace. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and encouraging positivity!

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 1, 2015 / 2:15 am

      I’m so happy that you took comfort in this post. Please know that you are not alone and we all have struggles in our lives. Even when we pray and try to figure out why these things are happening, it isn’t always the way we think it should be. Through time we see clearly that what we were being challenged with was actually a gift to learn and become stronger. You can and will get through this hard time and will be a better, stronger woman because of it! No matter who we are we all have challenges. Take comfort in simplicities of life and instead of trying to control your exterior, control your inner being by choosing joy. Take care and lots of love. Xo

  16. December 8, 2015 / 9:46 pm

    I really needed this. I always take on so many things and am constantly traveling and living in different places for short periods as a professional dancer. I’m at a point where I am ready to simplify my life a bit and feel less overwhelmed. Will definitely attempt to take your advice. Great blog!

    Beveling Brunette

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 9, 2015 / 5:28 am

      Thank you! I so happy this was helpful for you. Good luck with everything! Xo

  17. Angela
    December 9, 2015 / 3:04 am

    Hi Sascha,

    This was an amazing post. I rarely comment but I wanted to stop by and say how much this helped me. I have been going through a very difficult time and running into this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you.

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 9, 2015 / 5:30 am

      Hello and thank you! I hope things get easier for you. Stay strong and believe in yourself. These challenges serve a purpose and will only make you stronger. Best of luck! Xo

  18. Araceli
    December 19, 2015 / 7:29 pm

    Great post! This is exactly what i needed, i have been going through a really tough time these past couple of months and this just made me feel so much better and sort of guided me into what i need to do for my own happiness. These simple thoughts and words have helped me out so much, and i thank you for that! Thank you Sascha!

  19. Olivia
    December 28, 2015 / 2:05 am

    you should really think about writing a book about positivity and your personal experiences, it would be an awesome read and I would buy the heck out of it!! Love your writing and all your posts!

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      December 28, 2015 / 3:36 am

      Awe, thank you! Maybe some day, that would be amazing! I am grateful for your kind words!! Have a wonderful new year.

      Xo

    • saschaovard@gmail.com
      January 9, 2016 / 1:46 am

      Thank you! I believe in God and whatever title one chooses to put on their divine inspiration. Everyone has their own journey and path and I love and respect each person as an individual and whatever their beliefs and choices are. What we all believe in is such a personal choice as well it should be, as long as it is bringing positivity and light into our lives. God bless and much love to you. Xo